Descriptive writing + compare & contrast essay

The task asks for a revision that shows tiredness and sadness through concrete, sensory detail rather than naming the emotions directly.

The choices “The old dog was clearly exhausted and had a sad expression on its face today.” and “The old dog, which was tired and sad, lay down slowly near the door.” and “Everyone could tell the old dog was feeling both tired and quite sad indeed.” all still use the words 'tired' and/or 'sad' directly, which is exactly what 'showing' avoids.

The choice “The dog lowered its greying muzzle onto its paws and sighed without lifting its eyes.” describes a specific physical action - lowering the muzzle, sighing, not lifting the eyes - that lets the reader infer the dog's state.

Because B never states the emotion but creates the same impression through action, it best demonstrates showing rather than telling.

This still explicitly states 'exhausted' and 'sad expression', which is telling dressed up in longer words.

This keeps the exact words 'tired and sad' inside the sentence, so nothing has actually been shown.

This adds 'everyone could tell' but still names both emotions directly, so it is still telling.

Only the choice “The dog lowered its greying muzzle onto its paws and sighed without lifting its eyes.” relies purely on physical action and sensory detail to imply the dog's feelings, matching the showing technique.

Good descriptive writing selects a few sharp, specific details rather than listing everything present in a scene.

Look for whether each sentence names a small number of vivid, specific sensory images or simply piles up general items or intensifiers.

The choice “The sharp tang of crushed chili hung in the air as vendors called out over clattering carts.” combines smell (chili tang), sound (calling vendors, clattering carts) into one focused, specific image.

Because C is selective and sensory rather than an exhaustive list or vague intensifiers, it best fits the technique described.

This is an unfocused list of items, exactly the kind of generic listing the content warns against.

Repeating 'lots of' three times is vague and generic, giving no specific sensory detail at all.

Repeating 'very' as an intensifier tells the reader qualities rather than showing them through specific images.

The choice “The sharp tang of crushed chili hung in the air as vendors called out over clattering carts.” alone offers concrete sensory detail chosen selectively, which is the hallmark of strong descriptive writing.